Photo: Ron Lach
If you asked me at any age where I thought I’d be in the future, I would have never guessed here! Here is, absolutely not what I imagined, but I will say I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, I am hopeful for how far I will go, and I am open to new beginnings. I am more at peace, more focused on myself, and I am constantly practicing patience, because the lord knows I need it.
I know my younger self would be proud of me. I am going to share some of the lessons I have learned in my 31 years of living. Yes! August the 13th, this Leo turned 31! So a Happy Birthday to me, and here are 31 life lessons that I learned along the way. I’m sure there will be more lessons to come.
31 Life Lessons
- Try no matter what: whether you fall figuratively or literally, stand back up, and keep at it, because as we try we get better.
- Honesty is the best policy: honesty with myself and with others, because without honesty it is difficult to get what I want in life, work, or a relationship.
- It’s an A & B convo: I learned to stay out of other people’s business. If it has nothing to do with me, no need to comment. If it is not my life, then they can do as they please.
- Listen: I’ve learned to listen to what a person says, to ensure I understand what they are expressing to me, and to attend to whether or not what they say aligns with their behaviors.
- Slow down: I’m that person who does this, that, and the other, which brings me stress. I have learned that things don’t have to be rushed, and I learned that I am allowed to take my time because life is not a race. Sometimes I have to say, “Gabrielle, slow down, live life, & breathe.”
- Attract, do not force: Do not force things! This does not lead to anything good. We have to learn to let things happen organically and naturally. When we have to force things we are not doing the thing that is meant for us, which leads to trouble, especially in regards to relationships.
- Spontaneity: We can’t plan everything. I have learned that we need those days where we decide to do something different and out of the ordinary, it allows for adding some excitement to life, instead of life being monotonous.
- Loyal to a fault: I am naturally a loyal person, perhaps it is the Leo in me, but I learned that my loyalty does not have to remain when I have been wronged or mistreated. I’ve learned to be loyal to me, my wellbeing, and my peace.
- Lone wolf: I learned the benefits of spending time alone. My outing doesn’t get cut short, I have free range to do what feeds my soul, I connect with myself, and I am able to hear my voice.
- Not everybody is your friend: I can be friendly to all but not everyone has a deep connection or friendship with me, so I can be kind and caring, but I do not have to show up for people that do not show up for me.
- Stop offering assistance: When someone needs help or perceived assistance I offer it, but I have gotten into situations where people over utilized me for things they could do themselves. So now I ask myself, “Is this something that they are more than capable of doing?” If the answer is yes then I offer nada. I keep quiet, and if they truly need help they can use their voice to ask me.
- No: I have learned to say no. In the past I didn’t want to let people down but once I realized that saying yes to others was saying no to me I no longer wanted to sacrifice myself. No is a powerful word, a word that is direct and needs no further explanation.
- Letting go: It is a struggle to let go of people, we invest time, effort, and care into our relationships: family, friends, and romantic partners and when we have history with them it is hard to let go even when it is healthy to do so. To move forward we have to let go of what no longer serves a positive purpose in our life.
- Compare no more: I learned to not compare myself to another living soul because it doesn’t serve me. Secondly, we all have different life circumstances, and lastly we are each our own version of amazing.
- Treat yourself: Growing up I was the kid that would spend 1/3 of my birthday money, and I would save the rest. I was the kid that would say, “I don’t need that,” so I didn’t get it. I learned that just because you don’t need it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to have it. We do so much in our lives, and if we want the coffee, or the pants, or the hat we are allowed to get it (this doesn’t mean to spend beyond your means), but we are allowed the things that we want.
- Be yourself: I learned to not try so hard and to just be myself, the people that are right for me will find me like a magnetic force.
- Overthink no more: I learned to not overthink, because it hurts my head, stresses me out, and all before the situation has even unfolded. When you get in this brain pickle you have to redirect yourself to the present. Remind your brain that you don’t know what is going to happen, and that there is a possibility that it all turns out just fine.
- Question things: I have learned to question things. I do not take what I hear at face value. I do not agree with every word that an elder or someone of a higher status says, because these people are human like me, and sometimes the ideas they have are flawed or one-sided, because it is based on their perspective and life circumstances.
- Say what you feel: If you say what you feel and speak your truth, you do not have to ever be in a place of wondering “What if I” because this phrase won’t exist in your life. Goodbye what if’s, hello life!
- Find something to laugh about: laugh at foolish jokes, laugh at yourself, and surround yourself with people that make you smile. Laughter lessens our stress, and we enjoy life more, which may be why I like a good romantic comedy.
- Believe in thyself: I have learned to believe in myself as I believe in others, point, blank, simple. Okay, not exactly simple, and easier said than done. So each time you doubt yourself, remind yourself of moments where you overcame a struggle.
- Pay attention to people’s behaviors: Pay attention to how people treat others, talk about others, and how they respond when they don’t get their way. This will tell you a lot about a person’s character.
- Patience is a virtue: this is one that I need to continue to practice because sometimes I have a visual picture of how I want things to be, and then I think of the reality of how things are, and then I’m like Jesus come on now! The good thing here is that I am aware of this. Patience allows for reflection, realizations, and keeps us on track with what is meant for us.
- Let your creativity shine: I allow myself to be creative in a multitude of ways. Through art, photography, writing, and cooking. Creativity helps us to connect with ourselves and our feelingsl, and it is enjoyable to make something out of nothing.
- No more discounting my abilities: I learned to apply for the thing that intimidates me, because I down play my abilities. Now if I want it, I will apply for it, because you never know what could happen, and you may be the best person for the job and not even realize it.
- Dedication: I learned that dedication, time and effort are important. If we don’t set aside time for the things we want to accomplish or improve on then change doesn’t happen.
- One thing at a time: I learned that I do not need to multitask with everything I do. I learned that when I do one thing at a time I am more attentive and focused, instead of having my attention spread thin. Multitasking is a sometimes, not an all of the time thing.
- Go for the unimaginable: I think of so many things that I hope, wish, and dream for that seem so far out of my reach. The unimaginable is possible, we see it happen for people, which means it can exist for you too.
- Read: Reading allows you to learn, expand your vocabulary and knowledge. I read self-help books, murder mysteries and books on understanding body language. Knowledge is power!
- Step outside of comfort: People! Our comfort zone is so hindering. Now this is an obvious one, but one I think we forget about from time to time, if we do nothing different we become nothing different, okay not the most proper of English but you get it! We have to step outside of what we know and what we are accustomed to, to be able to experience new things, meet new people, and essentially to grow. I refuse to remain as I am, because there is so much knowledge in this world, and so many things we can experience if we take one step outside of what we know.
- Have faith even when things seem impossible: Having faith is knowing that things will fall into place in time, even though you can’t see the how. Faith moves me to a state of peace.
This Is 31: This year is looking bright!
That was a long list! I hope these lessons resonate with you. Keep moving forward, keep learning, keep believing in yourself, and your life is sure to be amazing, claim it!
Much love friends,
Gabrielle
Gabrielle great post! These are some great life lessons that both the young and old benefit from! You are wise beyond your years. Praying that this a great year for you.
Thank you Nikira, I joke that I have an old soul.